


feel none of it (do i owe each kiss)

by Estelle



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:13:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estelle/pseuds/Estelle
Summary: Loghain asks Surana why she spared his life. Their relationship develops from there.
Relationships: Loghain Mac Tir/Female Surana
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15
Collections: Black Emporium 2020





	feel none of it (do i owe each kiss)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Titania_sleeps](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titania_sleeps/gifts), [dawnstone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnstone/gifts).



> I was delighted to see all the Loghain requests this year, so of course I had to write a treat! Hope you like it!
> 
> Many thanks to Liv for the fantastic beta!

When a knock sounded at her door, Neria Surana let out a long sigh. It had been a long day already, and she was just getting ready to finally go to bed, having retreated to her chamber after finishing a long discussion with Queen Anora.  
She thought about just not answering the door for a moment, to pretend to already be asleep, but her sense of duty forbid her to do so.  
“Come in,” she called, walking back to the little seating area, wary of the task that would surely be imparted upon her now.  
She didn’t expect Loghain Mac Tir to enter the room. The stories she had heard and read growing up in the circle had always painted him as a hero, and she still had difficulties reconciling that with what Arl Eamon and Alistair had been telling her, and the events that had happened.  
Right now, he looked like neither a hero nor a villain though. He looked wary and a little awkward standing in her door, and mostly he just looked like a very tired man.  
That, and her curiosity about him, made her say “Please, have a seat”, and when he complied, she took a seat opposite of him.  
When he said nothing, just stared at her, she frowned a little. “What brings you here at this hour?”  
Loghain nodded. “Apologies for the late intrusion. I know my daughter has kept you, and I’m sure she has said this already, but I came to thank you. For sparing my life.”  
He was right, Anora had said it too, but it was somewhat unexpected to hear it from him.  
“And to ask you why,” he continued. “Not all of your party seemed to agree with your decision.”  
Neria sighed. “I didn’t expect Alistair to react so strongly. And I certainly didn’t think he would _leave_.”  
“He hates me,” Loghain offered. “And I thought you did too.”  
Neria shrugged. “It’s more complicated than that. I mean, yes, you ordered to have me killed, but I’m sure you’ve seen Zevran with me.”  
That brought a wry smile to Loghain’s lips. “Yes, that is certainly _interesting_.”  
“But more importantly, you had yielded”, she continued. “I had won our duel, and you were kneeling in front of me, _unarmed_. Killing you then wouldn’t have been justice, just murder. And in front of your daughter, at that.”  
“Thank you,” he said again. Then after a beat of silence, “Not everyone sees it that way.”  
“I know.” Neria sighed again. “But honestly, you are an accomplished general and warrior, and we have a very important fight ahead of us. I would be a fool to not take every advantage I can. And I certainly can’t consider everyone’s _feelings_ in this.”  
Loghain raised his eyebrows, looking at her with what she would almost describe as respect. “That’s a surprisingly practical outlook, Warden. I might yet come to like you.”  
Her heart skipped a beat at that, and that was certainly not the revelation she needed right now. She of course knew that she found him interesting and intriguing, and definitely handsome, but this was not the time or the place to develop any kinds of feelings.  
“My name is Neria,” she said to cover up the turmoil inside of her. He nodded with a slight smile, before standing up.  
“I will leave you to it. Goodnight, Neria.”  
“Goodnight, Loghain.”  
And if after he had left, she leaned against the door with a stupid smile, thinking about how her name sounded on his lips, no one ever had to know.

During the next days, she spent a lot of time with him, going over strategies and battle plans, and even if certainly not everyone in her party liked him, they couldn’t disagree that his experience and knowledge was invaluable.  
She also learned that he liked maps, and when she presented him with the ones she had acquired during her travels, his smile made her forget how tired and exhausted she was.  
When he carefully unrolled one of the maps, she noted how he stroked it almost reverently to flatten it out on the table, and she was unable to look away from his hands, wondering how they would feel stroking down her body like that.  
She quickly shook her head to clear it from that train of thought. He looked up at her.  
“This seems to be occupied Ferelden. Would you like me to tell you about it?”  
She nodded, eager to spend more time with him, and moved closer when he pointed to something on the map.  
She really liked listening to him, his deep, steady voice, earnestly explaining the events, and she only noticed how much time had passed when the candle flickered out, leaving them in the half-darkness of the moonlight.  
What she then also noticed was how close they had gotten, their shoulders brushing and their faces only inches apart, and when he looked up, his gaze roamed over her features, definitely pausing at her lips, and she smiled a little, confident now that her interest wasn’t one-sided.  
Slowly, she leaned in, giving him time to pull away, but he met her halfway, kissing her carefully at first, as if he was unsure of his welcome, but when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, it quickly became more heated. She easily opened up to his exploring tongue, pressing her body even closer to his, and his hands found her hips, holding her against him.  
“Neria,” he said finally, leaning his forehead against hers. She was definitely a little in love with the way he said her name.  
“Are you sure?” he asked, and she just had to smile, pulling back a little to look at him. And what a sight he was, his face flushed, his hair a mess, his eyes gleaming, all because of _her_.  
“We might all die in a few days, we might as well _indulge_ ourselves, don’t you think?”, she asked coyly, not wanting to give away the deeper feelings she was starting to develop.  
Loghain grinned. “I really like the way you think.”  
With that, he picked her up and positioned her on the table in front of him, but not after carefully placing the map to the side, which she noted with some amusement.  
He must have noticed her look, because he shrugged, a little bashful. “It’s an important map.”  
She laughed, and couldn’t hold back from teasing him a bit. “Good to know where your priorities lie.”  
He raised his eyebrows, a playful grin on his face that she had never seen before. “Oh, I will show you _priorities_.”  
Leaning in again, he kissed her thoroughly, holding her close to him in a way that left no doubt about his desires and intentions on following through.


End file.
